Spike studied the faces of the humans as they walked down the road. They'd wandered into the less-desirable part of the city, but the part that Spike preferred of *any* city. Darla would never have allowed them to be here if she had been around, but Spike was pleasantly surprised when Angelus didn't protest.
The taverns were full of people who were gambling and drinking, and if you happened to glance down a dark alleyway, the chances were you would see a whore pleasuring her customer.
Spike paid attention to the faces of those they passed. Half of the fun was the choice of victim. And he preferred to choose one who chose *him*--
As one always did.
He noticed another man very blatantly looking at him, as they walked past. He slowed a few feet away, pretending to look into a the window of a tavern. The man was attractive enough, about his height, slim build, dark hair and dark eyes. He was leaning against the wall near an alleyway, and the state of his clothing suggested he was a beggar or--
The question was answered for certain as Will watched the man out of the corner of his eye. Another man approached, money was given to the dark haired man, and then they retreated into the alley.
"I take it you've chosen your first kill of the evening," Angelus asked softly as he stood next to William. He'd forgotten how his boy enjoyed making a game out of the hunt. Not that he minded that, in the least. He *enjoyed* watching Will in action.
Spike nodded. He'd decided the man would do nicely for his first feed. He would satisfy Spike's hunger *and* his arousal - for a few minutes, at least. And he wouldn't even have to *pursue* the human. He smiled; it was just *too* easy sometimes. "The blood's sweeter when they walk into your trap, willingly," he replied. "Don't you remember?" he asked with a smile, looking up at Angelus.
Angelus smiled back, knowing his childe's words had been alluding to *his* turning. "How could I forget the most pleasurable feed I've had in years?" he whispered as he let his fingers brush against Will's own.
Spike tried not to react to the desire in Angelus' voice or the soft touch, even though that was a losing battle. His sire seemed to just know what to say or do to keep him in a constant state of arousal. He hadn't minded that at one time, but now... now he wasn't as ready to do anything about it as he had once been.
He was saved from trying any longer as the two men left the alley, the dark-haired one returning to his original spot against the wall. He glanced over at Spike and smiled, in a way Spike supposed was supposed to be seductive.
And even though his senses were bombarded by hundreds of smells and sounds instantaneously, he had learned how to focus in on those belonging to a single individual. It was one of the first things Angelus had taught him, as a matter of fact. And from the man, Spike had definitely caught the scent of desire.
"Wanna play?" he asked.
Angelus felt his cock stir in response to those words. *Oh how I wish you meant *that*, Will.* He smiled, and leaned down, letting his lips brush his childe's ear as he purred, "What did you have in mind, My Boy?"
Spike stifled a groan and turned his head to look up into his Angelus' eyes. "That's a ...good start," he said. "I was thinking of a little... cat and mouse. And with this mouse... he's more likely to fall into the trap if we ...act like we're..." He trailed off and looked away, wondering if this plan was such a good one after all.
"Act like we're what?" Angelus asked. He leaned closer and whispered in Will's ear, "Lovers?"
Spike shuddered, closing his eyes momentarily, as the word brought back memories of the dream he'd had earlier. And now he feared that his plan had been far from brilliant. If Angelus thought he really wasn't playing--
"Ah, I smell him now," Angelus whispered and pulled away, smiling. "I believe we have his attention."
Spike blinked a couple of times. Him? Attention? What? It took him a moment to remember hid otihinsl plan. He nodded, "Good." He turned his back on the human, after noticing out of the corner of his eye that they had definitely caught his attention. They walked a little further away, and as they moved, Angelus played the part Will had suggested, well. He deliberately brushed his hand against Will's every few minutes, once even taking the younger vampire's hand and squeezing it quickly, before releasing it again.
As soon as they were out of the light of the nearest street lamp, Spike leaned up against the wall and Angelus stepped close, smiling at him. He smelled his boy's arousal intensify and grinned. He was enjoying this game, immensely. And it occurred to him that Will was indeed playing the bait and he hadn't even had to suggest it. It was more enjoyable when he was helping his boy play the bait, however.
He looked around, playing the part of the human man afraid of being noticed by anyone with his male lover, noting a young man was indeed watching them, but pretending not to. So that was Will's first victim. Not a bad choice, Angelus had to admit. His boy had good taste.
Spike realized he was breathing, in an attempt to calm himself. How infuriating, that his sire's effect on him was always so predictable. He caught sight of the human as he glanced in his direction quickly. The man was interested, without a doubt. It was time to put his plan into action.
He looked up at Angelus and said, "Stay here?" Angelus frowned and he added, "Please? Just for a moment. I'll signal when I've... just please?"
Angelus searched Will's eyes, for a few seconds, and then nodded. William obviously had a plan. "All right," he agreed. "I'm trusting that I won't regret this."
"You won't," Spike smiled. "I promise." He turned and walked away, back over to the human. The man was young, early twenties, and quite attractive. Spike figured he probably made quite a bit of money nightly, with his looks.
"H'lo," Spike said, deciding to play the inexperienced, nervous one.
The man nodded. "I haven't seen you around here before."
Spike smiled. The human had a French accent, but at least he spoke English. That was good, as Spike's French was rusty. "Haven't been," he said. "My... friend... wanted to come here... get a drink. And we... saw you and thought...maybe... ya know..."
Angelus watched his boy from a distance and grinned as he heard the conversation. Will was irresistable, playing the young, nervous potential customer. He made the human think *he* was in control, putting any suspicions completely out of the man's mind. Darla was wrong if she seriously believed that William had lost appreciation for the art of the hunt.
Spike gave the other man the money requested and then said, "Wait... um... one more thing? My friend... he... he wants to ...watch." He had no problem acting nervous now, since he *was* nervous about the idea. The thought had come to him as an impulse, but he thought he could handle it as a way of being intimate with Angelus, without actually *being* intimate.
"If that's what you want," the man shrugged, "but it'll cost extra."
Angelus was stunned as he heard what Will requested. He wanted him to watch as he was pleasured? If he was actually willing to do that, Angelus was disappointed that *he* hadn't thought of it. He couldn't think of anything he would enjoy more, short of actually being with Will.
Spike nodded and handed over the extra money without hesitation. It didn't matter; all the money in the man's wallet would be in Spike's pocket within the hour, anyway.
"Come on then," the human said, and walked into the alley.
Spike looked to where Angelus was standing and was struck by the lust he saw in those brown eyes. His sire had heard the conversation with the human, of course. Was he happy by what he heard, though? Spike had *thought* it would be a good compromise, in place of actually being together. Angelus nodded and Spike smiled, hesitantly, before turning to follow the human.
Angelus followed, still amazed by what he'd heard his childe tell the other man. He turned down the dark alley, and saw his boy with the human. They both acknowledged his presence with a nod, and then the human turned back to Will. He lost no time in unfastening Will's pants and taking his semi-erect member in his hands.
Spike groaned; he'd almost forgotten how good the warmth of living flesh felt against him. He chose not to look at his sire. He was sure that if he did that, he'd lose his courage. "Suck me," he demanded.
The young man smiled and dropped to his knees. "I don't swallow," he informed Spike before he took his cock into his mouth.
Spike couldn't hold back a growl of pleasure, as the human showed no signs of being anything but experienced at his chosen way to make money. Luckily, though, the man wasn't paying enough attention to notice the rather strange response. Spike resisted to urge to thrust into the man's mouth, not wanting to lose that wonderful warmth enclosing his erection.
He heard another growl and looked up at Angelus. The older vampire was watching him, intently, which he'd known of course. But seeing it made the experience so much more intense. Spike whimpered as he felt his orgasm approaching, and closed his eyes. "Oh... bloody.... hell..." he gasped.
Angelus moved to stand in front of his boy. "Will." William opened his eyes to look at him, and he leaned in to kiss his boy gently, and then reached down to grip the human's head and force it closer, forcing him to take Will's erection down his throat. He ignored the indignant sounds from the man, focusing instead on Will's gasps and moans of pleasure as the human's throat worked him.
"Si-sire," Spike gasped, feeling his orgasm approaching.
"Look at me, William," Angelus said, cupping his chin and moving his head to meet his eyes. "I want to see your face when you come."
Angelus held the human firmly in place, forcing him to take Will's seed down his throat. He ignored the man's struggling attempt to break away, instead focusing on his childe's expression as he came. He'd been reminded lately how clearly William showed his emotions in his eyes, but hadn't seen so much pleasure in them in quite some time. He hadn't realized until now how much he'd missed seeing that.
When Will was spent, Angelus pulled the human away roughly and to his feet. "What the --" Spike didn't give the man time to finish his thought, but let his demon emerge and sank his fangs into the human's throat. The man struggled, but Spike held him in his arms tightly, and Angelus pressed closer, trapping the human between the two of them. Spike drank deeply, savoring the strength in the man's blood, as he took it into his own body. The scent of fear was overwhelming, and added to the enjoyment of the feed. The man was drained all too soon and Spike pulled away reluctantly. He looked up at Angelus, and was surprised at how intensely his sire was still staring at him.
"Something wrong?" he asked, dropping the human. He let his human face return but stayed where he was, his back against the wall. "Did I get blood on me?" He looked down at his white shirt, rethinking that color choice.
"No, nothing like that," Angelus replied. He was aroused - had been since the moment he slipped into William's room to watch him sleep. But that arousal had only intensified as they chose and drained their first victims. "I was merely watching you. I think I'll draw you like that later."
"Like what?" Spike asked.
"Lost in your orgasm," Angelus replied as he kicked the body away and stepped closer, leaving less than an inch between himself and his childe. "I just regret that I can't capture the noises you make-"
"I do not make noises," Spike growled indignantly.
"Oh but you do," Angelus replied with a smile, stepping closer and pinning his childe to the wall with his body. "Your whimpers and moans of pleasure are enough to drive me out of my mind with lust," he whispered as he leaned down to nuzzle Will's neck.
Spike groaned and ran his hands up Angelus' sides, slowly. He smiled when his sire let out a rumbling purr, the sound soothing any nervousness at the physical closeness. "And why... why would you want to draw... me like that?" he asked.
Angelus raised his head again and looked into Will's eyes. "It's just about the most erotic thing I've ever seen, and I want to capture it forever. That, as well as the way you look when you allow your demon forward."
Spike was surprised at this. He'd never been able to see what he looked like as the demon, due to the lack of a reflection. In fact, some times he thought he'd forgotten what he looked like altogether. But regardless, as the demon, he assumed he was quite a horrifying sight. At least that was the impression he got from the humans who saw him in that form.
"You don't know how irresistable you are in demon form?" Angelus asked, trailing kisses down Will's chin to his throat and suckling on it, hard enough to bruise. "I'll have to show you when I finish the pictures."
Spike gasped when Angelus ground his hips against him. "S-sire," he moaned, pulling the older vampire's head up for a kiss. He wanted *so* much more than a kiss, and as he felt Angelus' erection pressing against his hip through his pants, he knew that Angelus wanted that as well. The moment he even thought of taking their intimacy further however, a part of him panicked. "No!" he yelled, breaking the kiss and pushing at Angelus' chest.
"Ssh," Angelus said, refusing to let himself be moved. "William, calm down," he said softly, as he looked into his childe's eyes. "It's all right," he continued, hating the fear he tasted in the air and saw in those blue eyes. He wished there was a way to keep his childe from reacting that way, but realized it would simply take time. He slipped a hand between them, and, ignoring Will's cry of alarm, tucked his spent cock into his trousers and then fastened them again. He moved his hand away quickly and rested it on his childe's hip as he leaned down to nuzzle his boy's neck, still resisting the hands trying to push him away. "Will, relax," he whispered. "I promised you I wouldn't hurt you, and it's a promise I intend to keep."
William's struggles ceased, and Angelus raised his head to look at him. His childe, clearly embarrassed by his overreaction, looked away. Angelus wouldn't have that, however. He cradled Will's face in his hands and kissed him, gently. Will whimpered and parted his lips, suckling on Angelus tongue as it thrust inside his mouth.
Angelus pulled away after a moment. "Shall we continue our hunt?" he suggested. "The night is still young and I'm getting hungry."
Spike nodded. Even though part of him *didn't* want to stop what they were doing now, he realized it wasn't fair to Angelus to expect him to be all right with being pushed away when things went farther than he was comfortable. "All right," he said.
Angelus smiled and took Will by the hand, leading him out to the street again.
Spike glanced toward the upstairs portion of the tavern, before returning his attention to the poker game. Angelus had disappeared up there thirty minutes earlier, after having been approached by a beautiful blonde. And in those thirty minutes, Spike's mind had wandered frequently to that upstairs room. He didn't need to actually *be* there, with them, for his mind to fill in the likelihood of what was happening. He remembered his sire's seductive powers well. He also remembered how talented Angelus was sexually, how generous he could be in giving pleasure to his partner.
"Bloody hell," he muttered as one of the humans won the latest hand. The situation was doing nothing for his ability to concentrate. He wanted...
*He* wanted to be the one upstairs with Angelus.
"Another hand, mate?" One of the men asked him.
"Hell, why not," Spike shrugged. He'd just follow the winner out of the tavern and steal the money back later, if he *did* continue to lose.
He sensed his sire's presence then and smiled to himself. Angelus had probably sated himself of all hungers for the moment. He spared a quick glance over at the older vampire as he walked over to the bar. Angelus nodded and smiled at him, and Spike looked away before he gave in to the urge to smile back. Part of him was relieved at how comfortable he'd felt with Angelus that night, but another part of him still had the urge to be wary of getting *too* comfortable. Even knowing that his sire had only hurt him because Darla demanded it, he wasn't convinced that wouldn't happen again. As much as he wanted to believe--
*Stop it,* he told himself and tried to focus his attention on the game again. *Stop bloody thinking so much about everything. It will all work out... somehow.* He looked toward the stairs, where people were coming and going, and
He sighed as the man next to him won yet another hand of their game. *This is hopeless.* His attention just wasn't in the game. "Well, boys, it's been fun, but I'm going to call it a night," he said as he rose from the table. He walked over to the bar and ordered a beer, then stood facing the game table. He still had every intention of getting his money back, as soon as possible. One way or another, he made sure that he *never* lost.
Angelus looked over at his boy and could tell from the look of concentration on Will's face that he was contemplating another kill. He had no problem with letting Will have some more fun before they went home, the whore he'd killed earlier was hidden away in a closet and would most likely not be found until at least morning.
He intended to accompany Will on the hunt, but the more he thought about it, he changed his mind. As well as learning to trust Angelus again, William needed to know that Angelus trusted *him.* There had been many occasions in the past when they'd hunted separately, before Will had started to cause problems during his solo kills. But Angelus believed that Will *would* do the right thing if he just gave him the chance to do it.
So, when he walked over to Will he said, "I'm going back to the carriage. Meet me there as soon as you're ready to return home."
Spike looked up at his sire in shock. The past few weeks, he'd felt like a prisoner in his home, with his family. After the first time he'd been unlucky in a hunt and had some trouble with humans afterward, neither Darla nor Angelus had trusted him enough to allow him to hunt alone, for quite some time. And after the *second* time...
He shook his head, pushing away those memories. Those things didn't matter, now, when Angelus was finally trusting him to hunt without supervision. "I... all right," he said, nodding. "It won't take long."
Angelus couldn't help smiling at the obvious surprise on his boy's face. Take your time," he replied. "The sun won't be up for another three hours. I'll wait."
Spike nodded, and turned to follow the winner of the poker game out of the tavern. Angelus went outside after them but then headed toward where the carriage was waiting. He hoped he'd done the right thing in letting Will out of his sight to hunt alone. In a few hours, he'd know whether he had.
Thirty minutes later.......
Spike entered the carriage, which was waiting where they'd left it hours earlier. He sat down as the driver urged the horses forward, toward their home. Spike sighed happily, still coming down from the high of his last kill. He'd been cautious, he'd been patient, and when he'd finally struck, the human's blood had tasted sweeter than any blood he remembered before... except his sire's.
"Well?" Angelus asked.
"Piece of cake," Spike replied. He saw Angelus' look of relief, and turned away quickly. He didn't want Angelus to see how much it hurt to realize his sire had had doubts about letting him hunt alone. He understood that by the mistakes he'd made in the past, he'd lost that trust. He should be grateful that Angelus was giving him the chance to regain it. And he *was* grateful. But he still wished things hadn't gotten so bad that he had to prove his skills again in something that was so basic to what they were.
Angelus sighed as he sensed the shift in William's mood. But given the fact Will had endangered the family twice with his recklessness, it had been necessary for him to ask the question. His childe would just have to get used to having to earn his trust again.
They traveled a few more minutes in silence, before Angelus spoke. "Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"
Spike turned to look at him and shrugged. "I guess." A voice in his head screamed that he was a liar. He *had* enjoyed himself, more than he had in over a week. He'd felt closer to Angelus tonight than he had in a very long time, and a small part of him doubted the intelligence of letting that happen. He just didn't trust his sire completely.
What a pair they were, he realized with a sigh. Neither one trusted the other completely. But if they were trying to change that fact, then it wasn't *totally* hopeless.
"Good," Angelus said, "I'm glad." And he was; the night had gone better than he had hoped. His childe seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with him, and that meant they were heading in the right direction.
"I was thinking," he said, " that when you've recovered completely, I'll train you in ways to not only defend yourself against a slayer, but also in ways to defeat one."
Spike turned to look at Angelus, completely shocked. "You... you will? I mean--" He stopped and growled at his lack of ability to put a sentence together.
"It's very probable that you'll have a run-in with another slayer," Angelus said, smiling at his boy's shocked expression. "Even if you don't go looking for her, it's just inevitable when you live as long as we do. And I might not be with you when that does happen, to protect you or help you. So yes, I think it's a good idea that you learn now, when I *can* protect you and help you."
"I... " Spike was still stunned. "I thought you said it wasn't smart to go after a slayer."
Angelus nodded. "And it isn't, as a general rule, but there are a few exceptions. Chances are you'll have to deal with one eventually anyway, and I don't want you getting staked again. So it doesn't hurt to know how to kill the slayer, if one does confront you. And the best way to learn how to kill a slayer is to actually *do* that. So I'll find out where the new one has been sent, and we'll go pay her a visit in a week or two."
"Why that long? I'll be healed before then," Spike replied.
"Will, there is more to learning how to defeat a slayer than just hunting one down and picking a fight with her," Angelus said. "I have a lot to teach you before we leave Paris, to ensure that you are ready for this kind of a confrontation."
Spike sighed, knowing the lessons his sire was referring to would consist of more ridiculous rules that Spike wouldn't even *follow*. Leave it to Angelus to take the fun out of everything with his cautiousness and his endless plans and ridiculous rules. Sometimes Spike wondered if the older vampire had even *heard* of the concept of being impulsive.
Angelus heard his boy's impatient sigh and said, "If you're planning on questioning my every decision, then perhaps I should just forget about the whole thing."
"No!" Spike yelled, then winced at his "disrespectful" tone. "I mean, please don't, Sire. I wasn't intending to be argumentative. It was just a question."
"You're *always* questioning me, Will, and that's just not proper behavior toward one's sire," Angelus replied, and then realized that was an argument for another time. He raised his hand to cut off his childe's response, as the carriage stopped.
Angelus got out without a word. Will followed him, silently, and Angelus walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch facing the fire and Will sat on the floor at his feet. Angelus smiled at the act of submission, despite his mild irritation. His boy was quite aware of how to to be a proper childe, when he thought doing so might benefit himself. But that just wasn't enough.
Spike broke the silence, because he didn't want his attitude to change Angelus' mind about teaching him how to hunt a slayer. Also, because he had to admit to himself at least that he didn't like his sire being angry with him. They'd been getting along so well lately, and he preferred to keep it that way for as long as possible. "Sire?" He looked up at Angelus, waiting for the older vampire to meet his gaze. When he did, Spike asked, "May I... say something? Please?"
Angelus raised an eyebrow, surprised at this continuing display of submissiveness. He nodded, deciding to hear him out.
"I have never, and will never, questioned your orders in a dangerous situation," Spike said. He looked away, trying to hide how much it hurt that Angelus would even *think* such a thing. "I know that sometimes I question your - our - rules and traditions. It's just that... I've always been that way, questioning why and how. And I understand that sometimes - most of the time... it comes out sounding disrespectful, but I swear to you I don't intend it."
"I know that, and I'd be more likely to tolerate your inquisitiveness if you didn't display that behavior in front of... others," Angelus said. When his childe tensed, Angelus knew which others he meant had been understood. Because, truthfully, that was the real problem, as usual: Darla. Angelus wasn't that annoyed with Will's questions; *he* had been that way once, when he was a young fledgling. He had questioned Darla's every order at first, absolutely hating the prospect of being submissive to a female. But in time, he'd discovered the benefits of it too, and had ceased to argue as much. Of course he'd had also the incredible stupidity to mock the Master to his face, for spending the majority of his entire existence in caves and sewer tunnels. He'd paid for that as well, years later, when Darla had decided to regain her position as the Master's favorite childe. The old vampire had proved to have quite a good memory, much to Angelus' dismay.
He shook away those thoughts and glanced down at William, who had leaned back against the couch and was resting his head on his leg, as he stared into the fire. "I'm sorry," Will said, turning slightly to look up at him. "I never thought of it that way before."
"I assumed as much," Angelus said with a shrug. "Now, as for the slayer..." He couldn't miss the hopeful look in Will's eyes, and smiled despite himself. "I understand the desire to confront a slayer," he said. And he did, he understood it well. Contrary to his childe's opinions, Angelus *did* know the urge to make life more interesting. But he resisted that urge for the most part, because of his more overpowering urge to keep his family safe. "Promise me right now that you won't do *anything* without consulting me, first," he said. He couldn't have his boy's impulsiveness getting them into a difficult situation again.
"I promise," Spike replied quickly.
Angelus turned back to look at the fire again. He'd already made his decision, but he couldn't resist drawing out the suspense. He looked down at Will again and his boy's pleading look was absolutely priceless. *Don't make me regret this,* Angelus thought, before answering, "All right," with a smile.
Spike shut his mouth when Angelus laughed, realizing he was gaping at his sire in shock. "Thank you," he said, even though that seemed strangely inadequate. His mind supplied him with a way of showing his gratitude, giving him the mental picture in detail. He would turn to look at Angelus, still on his knees, move in between his legs, sliding his hands up to unfasten those pants that were so tight, making it clear just how aroused Angelus was. And then he'd--
He pushed that thought away, and tried to think of something else. He didn't want to ruin what had been a wonderful night. He didn't want it to end.
"You're welcome," Angelus said. He leaned in for a kiss, and for the second time that night freed Will's hair from the ribbon that had tied it back.
Spike pulled away and frowned, in mock-irritation, but when Angelus began to massage his scalp, he found himself unable to maintain even the pretense of irritation. He bit back a groan, and leaned his head back on Angelus' thigh. His sire never ceased to amaze him with his ability to put him at ease, even after everything they'd been through.
"We should probably get a good day's sleep, now," Angelus suggested, more out of an attempt to get a sense for how William was feeling toward him at the moment.
"I'm...not that tired yet," Spike replied.
"No?" Angelus leaned down and breathed in the scent of his childe's desire. "Hm... then sit next to me, and we'll have to decide what to do with ourselves now," he said.
Spike obeyed, moving to sit next to Angelus. Angelus kissed him, softly, and Spike couldn't stifle a whimper as he felt himself becoming aroused. "Any ideas?" Angelus asked, smiling as he leaned in and nuzzled his throat.
"I.... don't know," Spike groaned, closing his eyes as his sire's talented mouth sent shivers down his spine.
"You like this, though, don't you?" Angelus asked, his lips grazing Will's ear.
Spike shivered again and nodded. "Ya ... ya know... I do," he replied.
Angelus chuckled. "Of course I do. I just like to hear you say it," he said, as he grazed his blunt teeth against Will's scar from when he was turned. His childe whimpered, so he did it again.
Spike jumped when he felt a hand on his thigh, the fingertips just barely touching the material of that covered his erection. He grabbed Angelus' hand and tried to remove it. "Sire--" He trailed off in a groan, when Angelus refused to let his hand be moved, instead squeezing his thigh. "Please don't... I ... I can't..." he said, still trying to move the other vampire's hand away.
Angelus sighed, but moved his hand off his boy's thigh and turned away again to stare at the fire. He didn't want to get angry, not when the night had gone so well, in general. But he couldn't help being disappointed that he couldn't even *touch* Will without making the boy panic.
When Angelus turned away, Spike realized he'd angered the older vampire. And he hadn't *meant* to; he hadn't even really *wanted* to stop his sire from touching him. But he'd spent too long trying to convince himself that he shouldn't let Angelus near him again to be able to stop reacting on that instinct.
But he also knew that it wasn't fair to expect Angelus to tolerate being pulled in and pushed away, alternately. His sire most likely wasn't even used to *allowing* a childe to push him away. "I'm sorry, Sire. I ... I just can't... I... I'm sorry. Good night." And then he stumbled to his feet and toward the stairs, internally cursing his irrational fear. Angelus wouldn't hurt him. He *knew* that now. And he'd wanted to pleasure his sire, as he'd done so many times in the past.
But wanting to and doing were two very different things.
He just hoped Angelus wasn't too angry with him.
Angelus watched Will leave quickly, and sighed. So close, and then the panicked retreat, yet again. He got up, walking upstairs and to his room. He couldn't not be slightly annoyed at the pace at which they were moving. He'd hoped that after the earlier events of the night, in which Will had let him watch as a street whore brought him to orgasm, they'd be able to spend some time alone together now. He hadn't even *touched* his childe, however, before he'd run off in a panic.
Apparently, they hadn't progressed as far as he'd hoped.
Once he had reached his room, his irritation had faded enough to make him want to... He shook his head and sat down in a chair with a sigh. He didn't know *what* he would do, actually. He wanted to do something, though. He didn't want Will to think he was angry. He wasn't. He understood his childe's hesitance to renew the physical aspects of their relationship. He knew he'd destroyed the younger vampire's ability to trust him when he'd taken him so violently. And he did intend to give Will as much time as he needed to find that trust again.
But maybe he wasn't in the best of moods to try to talk to William now. He was tired and irritable at the moment, due to a long night of hunting, and a long night of tolerating his childe's constant changes in mood. He wasn't used to showing as much self-control as he had lately. He was used to taking whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, from everyone that was his, and that included his childer.
He sighed as he started to get undressed. Perhaps it would be best to wait until the following evening to speak to William again.
He sat up and discovered he didn't have that far to go. Angelus was sitting in the chair by the door, as he'd done so many previous nights. He was only dressed in his trousers, and Spike told himself to stop drooling as he let his eyes roam over the broad chest, flat stomach, those strong arms... He bit his lip as he felt his penis stirring, and then realized he on the other hand was completely nude. And, at some point in the day he'd ended up kicking his sheets and blanket to a corner of the bed.
*Bloody hell, I've been lying here naked and he saw.* He rolled his eyes as soon as the thought escaped him. Angelus had seen him naked hundreds of times. Once more wasn't that big of a deal. Even so, there was another voice in his head that started insisting: 'He's going to hurt you, make you scream and beg and--' *NO.* He silenced it with some effort, and looked back at his sire. *He *didn't* hurt me. He just sat there and --* Then he noticed the stack of paper on Angelus' lap. *Drew?*
He got out of bed and walked over to his sire, and saw that there were indeed several sketches. He picked them up carefully, so as not to wake Angelus, and sat down at the older vampire's feet.
As he looked at the drawings, he was stunned. There were ten sketches in all, and all were of him. Some were just of his face, and others were full-body drawings. The obvious care Angelus had put into them overwhelmed him. His sire had obviously studied him in order to make the sketches so detailed. He came to a sketch of him in demon face, and was surprised. He didn't look as hideous as he'd thought he had. He looked fierce and strong, however, and confident, more confident than he usually felt.
He set that drawing aside and gasped as he looked at the last one. It was another full-body drawing, but unlike the others, this one was of him fully unclothed. Angelus had clearly spent the most time on this sketch, because it was more detailed than the others. By the expression on his face, he guessed this one was of him right at the point of orgasm. His head was thrown back, his eyes were half-closed, and his mouth was open in either a moan or scream or ... "Bloody hell," he muttered as he felt himself becoming aroused. He set the drawing aside with the others and decided he didn't want to wake Angelus now. He wasn't as worried that he'd ruined things completely between them, anyone who could draw him like that obviously *didn't* hate him. Their talk could wait until Angelus woke up. And maybe now *he* could go to sleep for a few hours. He stood again, intending to set the drawings down again on his sire's lap before he left.
And then he saw that Angelus was no longer asleep. "Sire... I... "
"You wanted to see the pictures," Angelus finished for him, with a smile. *The boy is irresistable when he's not guarding his emotions. I take that back. There's never a moment he isn't irresistable, just moments when he's *more* so.* he mused. "Did you like them?"
They were... " Spike trailed off as he realized there was no way he could put into words how the sketches had affected him. "Is that how you really see me?" he wondered.
"That's how you *look*," Angelus replied, slightly confused by the question. But then he understood. Will had never seen himself as attractive before, but he had seen it in the drawings. "I do not make a habit of creating vampires that are not attractive," he continued. "And I do not create a childe, unless the human in question has an above-average beauty."
He saw Will's frown at his use of that word and said, "Perhaps you'd prefer the term handsome, but that term just doesn't capture how unusually good-looking you are as well," he said with a wink. He grinned when his childe looked away in embarrassment. "You didn't answer my question, though. Did you like the drawings?"
Spike met his sire's eyes and nodded. "Yes, I... You put so much work into them."
"It wasn't work; I enjoyed it," Angelus replied honestly. He held out his hand. "I'll put them away with the others."
Spike handed the stack of drawings to Angelus, and then remembered his complete lack of clothing. The warning voice in his head started up again, and he took a step back before he could stop himself. He heard Angelus sigh of obvious irritation and pushed away the panic yet again. He looked to the door as Angelus opened it, and said, "Sire, wait, please?"
Angelus turned to look at Will, and could tell how nervous - frightened - he was. He *hated* that, he'd never wanted *that* kind of fear from this childe. He growled but stopped when Will stepped back further. He bit back another sigh. "What is it?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.
*Stop bloody panicking!* Spike ordered himself. *He wasn't growling at me, at least I don't think he was. Just STOP!* "Sire, I..." he looked away, trying to gather up the nerve to say what he had wanted to say. "I... I wanted to say... I'm sorry." He looked up at Angelus hesitantly, unsure what response he would get.
Angelus frowned and regarded his boy for a moment in silence. "For?" he asked. He knew the answer already, but wanted - needed - to hear it out loud.
"For ... for earlier," Spike said slowly. "I ... The last thing I wanted was to make you angry. I wanted, I *want*... " He looked down at his feet, unable to finish the sentence when the bloody voice wouldn't shut the hell up. "I want..."
"You want *what*, Will?" Angelus asked. His childe just gave him an uncertain look, and Angelus nodded with a bitter laugh. "You don't know, do you? Or you're not willing to accept what you do want, and either way it's not getting us anywhere. Well I'm not playing your games anymore, Boy. Let me know when you've figured out what you want. I'm tired, I'm going to bed." He turned and left the room, but not before he saw the hurt look on his childe's face.
Spike stared at the door for several minutes after Angelus had slammed it behind himself. He wasn't sure *how* everything had deteriorated so quickly, only that it had. He wished he'd been able to make Angelus understand. He wanted to be with him. He *needed* to be with him. But every time they were together, moving toward being intimate, he couldn't stop the memories from resurfacing, the voice in his head from reminding him what Angelus had done to him, and could do to him again. And when that happened, he couldn't keep himself from reacting. *Over*reacting, to be more precise. He was still trying to protect himself, even though he was starting to think that he probably didn't need to do that.
He knew that his reactions were frustrating for Angelus. They were frustrating for *him*. He was *trying* to change things, but he couldn't do that overnight. It would take time.
"Why can't he have a little bloody PATIENCE?!" he growled and punched the wall next to the closet, putting his fist through it. "Damn it!" he yelled, and cradled his now injured hand in his other one. He moved his fingers gingerly and was relieved when he discovered he hadn't broken any bones.
"Great," he sighed as he contemplated the hole in the wall. "Just bloody wonderful. Angelus is gonna *love* that." He turned and got into bed. He knew it would be hopeless, however. He couldn't sleep when he was this upset. "I was trying to bloody apologize!" he yelled at the empty room. "I miss Dru," he added with a sigh. He had always hated sleeping alone, but he had no other option at the moment. Even if he could get up the courage to share a bed with Angelus, the older vampire most likely wouldn't want that anymore.
He'd made everything *so* much worse than it had been the previous evening. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Maybe, if fate was feeling kind, the last hour would turn out to have been just a dream.