{Guide To Slashing Angel & Xander}
by Lar & Kassie

I've been trying to work out how to approach this subject, and after much thought, some chocolate and a good read of a few A/X stories, I've come up with what I hope is a reasonable approach, mainly dealing with the sexual nature of slashfic.

I'm guessing that you're reading this page for one of three reasons; you're new to slash and you wondered what all this is about; you like writing Xander and Angel fic, but some things don't seem to feel right when you write them; you want to see how many times I can use the word 'erection' on one page.

I think I have a standing record of 20, but don't quote me on that.

The point here, (and no, THAT doesn't count) is that slash is essentially about the relationship between two people of the same sex. It doesn't have to be romantic, Hell, they don't always have to like each other. But they do have to have a more intimate bond than mere friends. And no, I don't mean that all your fic has to be taken up by shagging...I don't mean it can't either.;-)

In this guide, we'll look at simple dos and don'ts in writing Angel/Xander slash. Some sections apply to slash generally, some will be specific, but I'm hoping to give you a rounded view of non squicky fiction. And hopefully a few inspirational points too.

My mother used to tell me that they don't build diamonds as big as bricks, to which I'd usually add that if they did, I'd be willing to build up the muscle tone to wear one. Now she was trying to compensate me for being short and whilst I'd still like to be able to totter at 5'9", she was right in one aspect.

Taller does not mean better.

In other words, Angel shouldn't get to boss Xander around just because he's bigger. Oh no, there are plenty of other reasons to dominate the younger man, being bigger just really isn't one of them. Most of the fics I've read have Angel 'topping' Xander, both inside and outside the bedroom. And that's all fine, as long as Xander doesn't suddenly turn into meek boy - the one who does everything just because he's told. Don't forget, this is a young man who's overcoming a neglectful home life to defend his town and his friends against evil. He has balls and you need to recognize that when writing him.

In fact, despite the legions of fics to the contrary, there's just as much reason for Angel being the one in submission. Not that bottoming is a place of submission, naturally...I'm getting away from the point again. If you include sex in your fic, (big thumbs up here) you don't have to make Xander the bottom because he's smaller. You have Angel, a penitent man by nature - wouldn't he be as likely to be submissive? Why not go down that avenue for a change, see what you can come up with when Angel isn't in the driving seat.

See if Xander likes holding the reigns...

Description is a wonderful thing in any fanfic. There are stories which scream in angsty agony, prose that leaps through poetic boundaries and heated moments which positively glow with passion.

I'm going to let you into a secret - you can use too many adjectives.

Now before you raise that eyebrow, think about it. There are certain words written in fic now which have become cliché just because they're overused. Tongues dueling; Boy scout mottoes when handling lubricant; mutual orgasming; Errol Flynn sized penises.

Actually, it's that last which applies here - writing about erections, (strike one) is something that invariably comes up, (possible strike two) so we do tend to describe Angel and Xander's cocks. All well and good - I'm happy with that, damn, I'm happy just thinking about that. What I'm not happy with and what grates on my teeth is when suddenly everyone has to be endowed with appendages the size of a baseball bat.

Ladies and gentleman, the contents of David and Nick's pants are not up for grabs here. We don't know what dwells there, (or if we did, why the Hell are we only writing about it?) and we're not likely to. But somehow, I can't see Xander or Angel owning dicks that make grown men and women cry in fear of impending pain. The plain fact is, penises come in between 5 and 7 inches when fully erect. Sure, they may be a bit bit bigger than that, (or even a bit smaller) but that's a realistic bracket. Anything much bigger is really going to have someone 'gasping in pain'. So please, if you mention size during fics, 'thick' and/or 'long' is plenty descriptive enough.

At the first sign of the 'giant mamba' expect a good quantity of your readers to wince and yell for Xander to head for the hills.

It is, I'll admit a very personal squick of mine, but the words 'he lubed himself up' turn me right off.

I'm pretty sure this is because I feel I've stopped reading a piece of erotica and have stepped into a page of 'porn made easy'. And if you're wondering why I'm advocating against lubrication I'll state here that I'm not. Bring on the Vaseline, bring on the syrup, bring on anything that's slippery and slidey and makes the whole thing hot. Just don't ruin that goodness by dissolving into a cheesy play by play.

How do you do that?

Well like most things in fic, there are no hard and fast rules, just a few guidelines from the people who've struggled through earlier. I'd suggest letting your imagination run wild, and certainly looking around to what else might be put to slippery use. Look in your bedroom, your bathroom and don't neglect your kitchen. Think about what Angel does have in his place and what Xander stores up in his. As long as it doesn't sting or burn, (although in certain fics - that can apply) it's yours for the using.

Just take it from me, 'Angel slid the warm gel over his impatient cock' suggests so much more than 'Angel lubed himself up'.

Unless you had something better in mind.

I'll hold my hand up and admit it - I have a food fetish. Sex and chocolate go hand in hand merrily through my day and I value them both highly. If you can let me have them both together, I'll probably be your friend for life. All my favorite erotica is festooned with dairy products and in my dreams the fridge by my bed is full of useful treats. And if you were offering me Angel or Xander on a platter, I'd ask for them to be covered in whip cream or sherbet and no spoon.

This is my kink, and it affects roughly ninety percent of the fics I write.

However, it's not to everyone's taste, (no pun, I swear) and whilst it's fairly mild as kinks go, some people will be turned off by it. And that applies to just about anything you can think up. People like toes, spanking, bondage, s & m...you think it, it turns someone on. But it isn't, no matter how well you write it, going to work for everyone and some people are seriously going to be squicked out. And they may write you letters to the tune of 'uck, how could you'.

*big sigh*

There isn't an awful lot you can do about this. If anyone does mail you about it, all you can really answer is that the idea turned you on at the time and you thought it fit the story. And that's the key point here - don't worry whether other people are going to be grossed out by whatever it is you're writing. Most readers get enticed by a good story, even if it does have something that just doesn't work for them. Hell, even some characters squick people out - even if they do write them later. As the writer, you have to ensure you believe in the fic, which actually means a little research.

I'm not suggesting that if you Xander and Angel are about to engage in light bout of bondage that you need to know your A-Z of knots. But it reads so much better if your description sounds right. And there are web sites which can fill you in on the details should you really want them. Just have a look on a good search engine and I swear you'll be surprised what it comes up with. Make it seem believable to you and your beta reader and don't worry about squicking.

Just cover that erection in something slippery...say chocolate syrup for example.

There's something about Xander that seems vulnerable, something deep inside that just seem to beg for a hug. And I've read plenty of fics which address this need in hurt/comfort stories. I don't have a problem with that, nor do I think it's too terrible if Xander breaks down in Angel's arms and sobs his little heart out.

I may wonder why no one carries handkerchiefs anymore, but that'll be about it.

These things don't feminize him, so that's okay.

However, when Xander suddenly starts crying with emotion in the middle of the mall, or when he launches into a big weepy speech in front of everyone, I begin to wonder when he lost his penis. Because this is not the Xander I see onscreen, no matter how you argue that your fic justifies it. Actually, if your fic can justify it, send the words my way - anyone who can put that much work into a fic deserves a read. If no matter how many time you try, your characters are acting like girls, stop writing slash and write het fic. On the other hand, if you read your fic back and find to your horror that you've written Xander or Angel as a girl, here's a few pointers.

a) Guys generally aren't given to huge public displays of emotion. Okay, I know some are, but both Angel and Xander have both shown a preference to keeping their personal life...er...personal. So if this pair go all out to share their feelings with the masses, you'd better write a good reason why; or you're just not keeping in character.

b) The crying thing - how many times have we seen Xander or Angel cry onscreen? Once? Twice? Perhaps as many as five times for Angel, less for Xander? And we've seen this pair go through some harrowing stuff, so if that doesn't make them cry, what would? if you really have to break out the tissues, just make sure that it's not just because Angel burnt the birthday cake he was making for Xander.

c) Saying I love you - how many episodes did it take for Angel to say 'I love you' to Buffy? One and a half seasons? And did he blub it out the whole time afterwards? No, he didn't, because, undead though he is, Angel is at heart, a guy. And guys don't tend to say those three little words off hand just because they can. There are three general reasons for saying it if you're a guy, (I asked) firstly there's the whole 'you've bullied me into saying something' expression - be very wary of this one, it's a lie. Secondly, there's the very simple, 'I want sex' reason - again, common and it's usually a lie. Thirdly, the guy is genuinely in love and wants to tell you so. This one I like and it doesn't happen all the time, so use it sparingly.

So there you are - three key ways to keep guys being...well, guys. A good way to do this is to read your fic aloud, listening to hear if you're characters are speaking in character, or if they've suddenly become Buffy and Willow.

If that happens, back away and try again. or you could just go with Buffy/Willow...I hear they can be hot together!

This has been, as promised, a brief guide to slashing Angel and Xander, and I know there are many more details that could be covered here. I've just tried to give you a few basic guidelines to work to. They aren't hard and fast rules, nor should they be. As long as you're writing what you want, don't let anyone else's opinion bother you. All that's been suggested here ways to make your fic slashier and maybe better. And I hope it's also given you an insight on why certain things work in fic...and others don't.

So with that in mind, I'll leave you to go write, and look forward to the naughty things your mind come up with.

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