My Spike
by
Chance


My Spike…

Likes chains

Likes hand cuffs

Likes whips

Likes the top

Likes the bottom

Likes the floor

Will fuck anything that insult’s him

Doesn’t have a soul

Doesn’t want one

Never wanted Angel

But fucked him any way

Doesn’t remember William

Is Glad of it

Had Darla

For Several hours

He still has the scars

Pierced his tongue

Pierced his nose

Pierced his eyebrow

Pierced his dick

Got caught on Dru once

So he took it out

Is Dru’s bitch.

Knows Dru sired him and is sticking to it

Fucked Buffy

Fucked Cecily

Fucked Anya

Fucked Tara and Willow

At the same time

Then fucked Xander

Twice

Is smart but likes to pretend he’s stupid

Secretly stole Mr. Gordo

And slept with him the first night he was in Buffy’s room.

Learned foreplay from Darla, got his blood fetish from Dru, learned how gay he really is from Angel

Eight times

Each year

Knows he’s a man whore and is proud of it

Is known in the Moulin Rouge as "Oh Spike!"

Fucked every one who goes to the fish tank at one point or another

Fucked Faith

Twelve times

In a year

Has an average twenty-six one night stands

Every century

Has fucked the entire Scooby gang

Has done that with Dawn

Four times

Misses Joyce and Tara

A lot

Tried to bring them back

Ended up eating a snake for nothing

Fucked Buffy in every coffin in his crypt

Twice

Shave his balls in the ninety’s

Has no problem with over sharing

Thinks of pornography as an art form

Has been to the playboy mansion when it was first created

Fucked every girl in it

And Hue Heffner

Then stole a vibrator

Still has it

Used on Buffy once

And lent it to Darla

Didn’t get it back for two years

Has no boundary’s

Fucked that shop keeper after he killed her

Called Dru’s name while fucking Buffy

Called Buffy’s name while fucking Dru

Got in a lot of shit

Forgot who she was for a second

Never used a condom in his life

Has incredible stamina

Seriously, ask a n y o n e

Knows how fucking hot he is

And so does every body else