As we all know, in the ever raging battle for ratings, the WB told ME they ought to attract new viewers with this fifth season of AtS, and the return to the season 1 more episodic format, as well as the cast shake-up, is a part of the response. It occurs to me, though, that these new viewers, provided they make it to the message boards and livejournals, might fight themselves hopelessly bewildered by all the raging battles about a certain person in the cast. Relax, people. Your trusty guide is here to explain all.

Here are the most dominant species sighted in this corner of genre fandom, the crucial factions. Do not be confused if they strangely resemble each other.

I. a) Spikista Catholica - it's all. About. Spike. Only his time on screen makes living worthwile. The merit of other characters depends on whether they interact with Spike, and if so, if they value him enough. Since the later is virtually impossible, the Spikista Catholica often is more properly called Spikista Evangelista or Calvinista. The difference? The Catholica allows some fellow saints; for the Calvinista, there are only demons who don't value Spike enough. These don't have to be on the screen; quite often, they are to be found in the writers' department. The writers should all be erased from the face of the earth and the fanfic authors should be put in charge.

I. b) The Scourge - Spike is worse than the plague. He never contributed anything worth while to BTVS and of course he can't possible contribute anything worthwhile to AtS. Even when he's just on screen for two minutes in an episode and a character Scourge members prefer is on screen for 20, Spike is still stealing screen time from the later. Everything The Scourge doesn't like is Spike's fault. Except that it's also the writers' fault. They are his fellow demons. They should all be erased from the face of the earth. And the fanfic writers should be put in charge.

II. a) Redemptionista Appassionata - Spike's redemption is the best storyline ME ever came up with, and they had to be dragged to the truth kicking and screaming. The RA of course knew it all along. At the very latest when Spike brought flowers to Joyce's funeral. (Who wrote that episode again? Can it be…?) The toughest period for the RA was the AR, which led to much cursing of ME in general and Marti Noxon in particular. Since Marti is not involved in the production of AtS in any official capacity, one wonders who the new target will be as soon as Spike does something remotely questionable.

II. b) Evilista Furiosa - the only acceptable Spike is the second season BTVS version. Possibly also lovelorn drunken Spike of season 3's Lovers' Walk, though this fan favourite became tainted in hindsight since the opposition can quote it as proof that Spike has always been love's bitch quite often. Season 4 Spike is somewhat acceptable in his unrepentant inclinations but the chip is clearly a sign of doom. Any later Spike is just proof ME lost it and managed to ruin a good character. Look out for Marti Noxon voodoo dolls among the EF s; she is blamed for Spike going soft. (Do not bother to reconcile this with the RA attitude; opposite camps, remember?) Also, the AR briefly returned hope to the EF camp only for ME to cruelly crush it by giving Spike a soul.

III. a) Spikista Universalista - not to be confused with the Catholica or Evangilista. True, this version of the Spike Fan enjoys any Spike as well, good, bad, ambigiuous, unsouled, souled, human, ghostly…whatever ME came up with in past and present. However, the Universalistas have been known to enjoy characters who either don't like Spike or don't interact with him; they might even write whole essays without mentioning him more than once. It is not that they love others less, but Spike more.

III. b) Humanista Apathica - bad Spike, good Spike, whatever. This fan never cared much for Captain Peroxide but doesn't have the time or energy to devote endless diatribes against him or ME, either. HA s are very mildly worried he got resurrected but enjoy other characters and storylines too much to let this stop their viewing pleasure. In their spare time, they have been known to visit their pals, the Yeti.

Disclaimer: No Spike lovers or Spike haters were hurt in the production of this guide. Also, the author of same is prepared to endure mocking of her fannish inclinations, which include love of Rygel, Londo, Buffy Summers, Connor and Anakin Skywalker. Also extreme dislike of Fanon!Draco, Obidala 'shippers and Fred bashers. Lastly, touch Quark and you're a dead man/woman/genderless entity!