I scare tigers into early graves.

I have moved cities with my bite. Clawed and conquered to a family's mocking defeat. I am more than just a pretty sketch of a screaming skull, I'm a fucking animal and no silly little bitch can change that, not for one sodding minute. Women have wept for me, Dru has screamed her lunacy into the night for me, biting and clawing at my back and sounding almost coherent.

All for me. All because of me. And someone is going to damn well pay for making me forget that. -Spirit, "One of the Lost"

Then this god-awful chip thing happened, and we watched, half disturbed and half-amused, as he suffered through the relative indignities of "The Initiative," "Pangs," "Something Blue," and "Hush."  Chained in the bathtub, har-de-har-har.  But it surely wouldn't last.  Would it?

I didn't start to get seriously concerned until "Doomed," when Hawaiian shirt-clad Spike positioned himself over a stake, said goodbye to Dru, and pitched himself forward.  Oh, look, ha-ha, the funny vampire fell over and broke the furniture.  Did anyone bother to notice, in a moment that was quite obviously played for comedy, that a cast member of the show had just attempted suicide?

I heard rumors of de-chipping over the summer and hoped that season 5 would bode better for Spike- but there he was again, in "Buffy vs. Dracula," with Riley's Teutonic ass glowering over him.  (This isn't the first time Spike's fought someone taller than him- i.e., Angel- but the height difference has never been pointed out before.  It kinda pissed me off- "oooh, look at what a big, strong man the G.I. Joe is."  I don't see Spike lurking in crackhouses paying people to drain his various body parts.)  And then, the last line of his minute-long appearance: "You'll never find him.  Not before he gets to her."  And I knew, I knew that the rumors I had heard about fifth season were true: Spike was in love with Buffy.  I also knew then what the Spuffy 'shippers still seem unable to accept: BUFFY WILL NEVER LOVE SPIKE.  Not without a Romany curse on his part, or a personality transplant on hers.  He's a vampire.  He's tried to kill her.  He's tried to kill both her boyfriends, and he's tried to kill her friends.  He locked several dozen teenagers in a bomb shelter and started chowing down.  He chained Angel to a ceiling and tortured him for hours.  He's kidnapped Willow, and he's tried to bite her twice.  He gave Xander a concussion and, a year later, broke his ribs.  He sent armed assassins after Buffy and mealworms after Cordelia.  He's killed Slayers and children and is such a badass that Dracula owes him money.  He almost forced Buffy to watch Angel die and nearly did her in with that arm-in-a-box; he's had his fangs at her throat twice now.  He gave Angelus shelter so he could merrily go about driving his ex-girlfriend insane, he helped a cyborg-demon-thingy in his quest to bring about an apocalptic war, and he's broken nearly every promise he's ever made.  He is a vampire, and he is evil.

But you wouldn't know it to look at him these days.

Spike is buying chocolates and holding open doors; Spike is dressing like Riley; Spike is talking to mannequins and building Slayer shrines.  While Xander has finally gotten a girlfriend, a job, and someone to pick out his clothes, Spike has been relegated to butt-monkey status.  Do we giggle at his antics? If you really love Spike, I think most emphatically not.

He's lost his mind.

The solitude, the stale blood, the string of misfortunes that can be traced back to Angel's turning and Dru's betrayal, or to the disastrous defeat of "School Hard," or even back as far as Prague- it's all getting to him.  I can't remember the last time I saw Spike happy- I can't remember the last time he smiled.  It's been since "Lover's Walk" at least.  Everything that defined him- as a vampire, as a lover, as a man- has been stripped away, leaving him with nothing but a television, a mannequin, and a cup of cold O+.  His obsession with Buffy is insane, illogical; Spike has admitted as much.  But he no longer can control his emotions, or his actions.

And that's what you, as a Spikefic writer, need to remember.  We should not fear Spike less on account of his current behavior- we should fear him more. Spike is not a harmless puppy.  He's not even a caged tiger.  He's a psychopath.  He is hurt, he is angry, and he is very. very. hungry. 

Lest you forget.

Recommended reading: Rune's Between Sunshine and Shadows; Rowan's Girl On Film; Kita's Of The Beast: Spike; Shrift's No Title to Virtue.