Fiction by Title Author Rating Elsewhere
Title: A Whole New Me
Setting: Hells Bells
Summary: The invitations were sent, but no one left a gift.
Rating: PG-13 for implied sexuality and gratuitous use of the word beaver, I guess.
He might have been there, maybe in the back, hiding in a corner with his date. Maybe hed slipped out for a cigarette, or was at the bar getting a drink. Why hadnt she looked harder or asked someone if theyd seen him? He said hed come. He had to have been somewhere. Shed been sure to hand-deliver an invitation.
Were getting married. Heres your invitation. The book said I didnt have to put a stamp on it if I brought it myself. I think its an efficient way to save twenty-nine cents, plus the walk is nice at night.
The pile of gifts was so high, such beautiful paper, just the bows on some had to have cost five dollars. People who said demons couldnt be generous didnt know her friends, the friends that she still had left at least. Halfrek had been there, and DHoffryn, even Ternyasha had teleported in with a gift, and people said shed never stop blaming Anya for that little incident with the Romanovs. There just had to be one with his name on it, too.
You dont have to bring a gift. You know Im just being polite when I say that right? I want presents. You have such great taste; it would be a shame to keep wasting it all on this damp place. I mean its lovely. No, really, but still, I want you to shop for me.
There had been a fight and he hadnt helped. He couldnt have been there and just watched the demon strike her down. Why wouldnt he want to watch her walk down the aisle? That was the part everyone came to weddings for. The same everyones that were gone now. They all left so slowly; most of them taking their gifts as they went. Not even worth presents that cost them an hours pay; not without Xander to help her untie their lousy five-dollar bows.
You could come to the bachelorette party, I mean not that theyre giving me one. We could do our own. You could take me to Willies, and we could talk a Proethos demon into showing us the Marin parasite that lives in its head. That would be kind of like a stripper jumping from a cake, I guess. It would cost less money at least. Maybe we could just get a beer at the Bronze.
Didnt they come out at night? If she sat here in the dark long enough, wouldnt the vampires come to her? How many times had Spike stopped her on the street in the middle of the night? Where was he when she truly needed a friend? She didnt care; she was running out of tears, she just wanted a drink, a fight, something other than crying in the dark. Staring to the corners for yet another moment of disappoint, it truly hit her, harder than the philanderers quilled hand could ever hope to; there was really no one coming to comfort her.
You didnt have to come. Some of the guys from Xanders crew took him to a place called the Beaver Dam. Im not threatened; I know he loves only me. Did they invite you? You could have gone with them. Id understand, but Spike Im glad you came with me.
It started as a pinprick of light. Just a little sliver of yellow brightening the room the same way it had brightened the cloudy day a millennia ago when DHoffryn offered her worlds she didnt want but couldnt resist. She looked to the corners of the darkness expecting to see a small ember burning, some sign that she wasnt alone with her grief, ready to make yet another mistake shed have to live long enough to regret. Spike wasnt there. All the world had left her were the platitudes of a demon and the rage of a woman scorned.
We should do this more often, just you and me. We make excellent company I think. This is almost like our couch, just Spike and Anyas drinking couch. Or maybe Anya and Spike, women first, you know. I didnt know drinks came this blue, but I like it. Is my tongue blue? Yours is red. Think if we kissed it would make purple? Kidding.
For an hour's worth of pain, her anger had been her own again. In the blink of an eye, a thousand hearts crying out for vengeance had blanketed the rage welling up inside of her. Their wailing laments burned in her ears. There was barely time to step out of her gown before the need to teleport overwhelmed her. She had to find the source; calm the voices, satisfy the will. It was the only way she knew how to deal with the emotions that tried so hard to bend her past mending.
Its so silly to sleep at Buffys house tonight. I want to see Xander, I want to be his last pre-marital fling. Sometimes I dress up and pretend I dont know him, and when we have sex I call him the wrong name. I think he likes it, although he didnt like it when I called him Spike. Do you need a napkin? You spilt a little of your drink. Should I do the patting you on the back thing?
It was dark outside Spikes crypt, even the sconces were blown out and she wondered if hed mind if she just slept here without him. Maybe she could just sleep until they were all dead. They hadnt even called, not even Dawn or Tara. Why should she even care? Her clothes reeked of smoke and blood. It had felt wonderful to just let go, point a finger and watch the release of pain the lower beings loved so much. She could just turn Xander inside out if she wanted. Maybe tomorrow. Turning him inside out wasnt very creative in the context of a full nights work. She needed to sleep on it to truly appreciate the damage she could do.
Its not a very big bed is it? Kind of cold in here really. If you have electricity for the TV why not get a little heater. I mean unless it doesnt bother you anymore. Sometimes I just like to be hot, so hot you have to take your clothes off. The kind of hot where just touching someone else makes you both so sweaty you just slide against each other like mating eels, twisting and entwined. Do you ever feel that way? I hate being cold.
For a minute she thought there were voices, the quiet sort of whispers that begged more than told. It must have just been the dream - Spikes voice had that tone that could put you to sleep and make you feel safe. Safe in the vampires lair, crypt, whatever. It was a bed and soft. Thats all she wanted. Shed had enough of hard for one lifetime. She wanted to end the day like it began. In a bed that smelled like kissed-away scotch and someone who wouldnt betray her. Spike was evil at his core, he never made apologies or pretended he was anything else. Shed had her fill of pretenses and nice when company was looking.
How long has it been? Do you need to slow down? Everyone should have one last fling, right? Do you want me to stop talking? Xander says I talk too much. In a hundred years Ive only been with him; that seems so dumb, doesnt it? All those years wasted because I was so into my job. Do you really think Im beautiful? You say such nice things. Im glad it was you that took me out, this would have been much more awkward with Willow.
Why wasnt he there? How many invitations did she have to send out before someone brought her what she needed? He would have brought something nice and pretty if hed come. She was sure of it. Maybe hed be there in the morning when she woke up; that would be better than rushing out before dawn to get ready for abandonment. The book hadnt said anything about being left at the altar. She was just glad she didnt have to follow their dumb rules anymore.
Tomorrow my whole life is going to change. I cant wait for you to see me. Im going to be the best ever, you wont even recognize me. Will you kiss me goodbye now in case I forget in the morning? I dont want to sleep, but if I dont I cant wake up the new Anya.