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Title: Snapping Back
Author: Tania
Rating: PG
Summary: Spike POV during Season five of Angel.

Spike always thought that being a ghost meant choosing who you haunted, having the power to fade in and out when it suited. This is nothing like he imagined. He feels like a rubber band, bouncing back and forth between blinding light and impenetrable darkness. On the one side he sees the world bright and blinding, going about its day oblivious to the evil that pulls him in the other direction. His life plays out like a nightmare filmed for posterity. Scenes play over and over against the noir backdrop of screams, the only other sounds remind him of elastic snapping back to its rightful position. He thinks this is where he belongs, but it never lasts.

Eventually the pull and release comes in shorter intervals, he has so little time to wander the halls suddenly grateful to be seen. He begs those who’ll listen to save him, help pull him back, cut the bungee so he can catch his breath, right himself. He clings to the world, desperate for the moment when the world clings back, waiting for someone to tell him to hold on just a little longer. Instead he is told to go away, stay gone, and then the cord is cut. He stands alone in a sea of light and wonders when the dark will return.